








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,071 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 868 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1877 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1844 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1482 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,961 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | 63% | 75 |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 51% | 108 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | Enferno | 49% | 163 |
| #5 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aggro | 63% | 75 |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 51% | 108 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | Enferno | 49% | 163 |
| #5 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | aggro | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Snôòpy | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 657 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Marx3n | 305 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Snôòpy | 235 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Quarantined_Polarbear | 185 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | aggro | 140 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promiscuous Boy | +2.66 | 76 | 47 |
| #2 | aggro | +1.09 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | Enferno | +0.16 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | Snôòpy | -1.60 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Marx3n | -1.67 | 54 | 52 |





