








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2145 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3196 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1470 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1783 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,296 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 48% | 193 |
| #2 | Enferno | 47% | 244 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 46% | 198 |
| #4 | Promiscuous Boy | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | aggro | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 48% | 193 |
| #2 | Enferno | 47% | 244 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 46% | 198 |
| #4 | Promiscuous Boy | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | aggro | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snôòpy | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Enferno | 17 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Marx3n | 8 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enferno | 800 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Snôòpy | 515 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Marx3n | 499 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Promiscuous Boy | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | aggro | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promiscuous Boy | +4.10 | 77 | 43 |
| #2 | Enferno | +1.80 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | aggro | +1.57 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Snôòpy | -0.67 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Marx3n | -1.08 | 50 | 51 |





