








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2427 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3796 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4446 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4072 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3445 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,134 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AubsTheStrawbs | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Fragon | 42% | 62 |
| #3 | Nathe | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Wh1z | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | ajaws1 | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nathe | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | Wh1z | 37% | 27 |
| #5 | ajaws1 | 35% | 26 |
| #6 | adalia | 35% | 26 |
| #7 | TwoTapTony | 18% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Wh1z | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | ajaws1 | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | AubsTheStrawbs | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | adalia | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 239 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | adalia | 148 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #3 | TwoTapTony | 97 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | ajaws1 | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nathe | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ajaws1 | +3.69 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | Fragon | +2.84 | 84 | 68 |
| #3 | Nathe | +2.10 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Wh1z | +1.57 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | Flamboyant | -1.96 | 33 | 65 |





