








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2162 | 37% |
| Smokes | 502 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1610 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1506 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,091 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | ajaws1 | 33% | 36 |
| #15 | Hice Nacks | 29% | 17 |
| #16 | BigJaids | 29% | 42 |
| #17 | Jordan | 19% | 16 |
| #18 | Stormie | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wh1z | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Nathe | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Fragon | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | ajaws1 | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Greta Thunberg | 3 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fragon | 453 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | Nathe | 257 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wh1z | 150 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hop | 122 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | BigJaids | 109 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gromit | +3.92 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Fragon | +3.33 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Nathe | +3.24 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Wh1z | +2.81 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | ajaws1 | +2.48 | 72 | 57 |





