








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 292 | 30% |
| Smokes | 274 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 89 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $196,550 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZigZee | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Void_NGU | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | McDubz | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 50% | 22 |
| #5 | Private | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | 11 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | Rayne | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | SPINCH | 4 | 0.0175 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Salty Dinner | 2 | 0.0093 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | 204 | 0.42 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rayne | 90 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Private | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Void_NGU | 24 | 0.36 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sqerl | 23 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -iwnl- reos | +2.74 | 52 | 25 |
| #2 | Private | +2.68 | 43 | 59 |
| #3 | Tazmo | +2.04 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Levi | +1.91 | 65 | 76 |
| #5 | McDubz | +1.20 | 63 | 60 |





