








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2897 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3229 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3720 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3979 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2553 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,492,359 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 443 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | 52% | 65 |
| #2 | Sqerl | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | Rayne | 52% | 79 |
| #4 | McDubz | 48% | 83 |
| #5 | D | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 22 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Tazmo | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Sqerl | 8 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | McDubz | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | D | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | 474 | 0.39 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rayne | 241 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | McDubz | 227 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sqerl | 144 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ric Flair Drip | 144 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | +2.64 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | Ric Flair Drip | +2.46 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | McDubz | +2.02 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Sqerl | +1.31 | 84 | 64 |
| #5 | D | +1.09 | 68 | 42 |





