








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 412 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 193 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5546 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7458 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6660 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4547 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $978,387 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 290 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 53% | 229 |
| #2 | Element | 52% | 79 |
| #3 | McDubz | 52% | 56 |
| #4 | e30.jp | 49% | 150 |
| #5 | Sqerl | 47% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Private | 45% | 139 |
| #9 | Tazmo | 43% | 122 |
| #10 | DonDave | 37% | 38 |
| #11 | Salty Dinner | 32% | 37 |
| #12 | SPINCH | 25% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | 51 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | Sqerl | 23 | 0.0096 |
| #3 | Levi | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | DonDave | 19 | 0.0234 |
| #5 | Void_NGU | 12 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | 929 | 0.37 | 27 min |
| #2 | Sqerl | 550 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Levi | 548 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Void_NGU | 424 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | ZigZee | 292 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Void_NGU | +4.07 | 84 | 61 |
| #2 | McDubz | +2.71 | 79 | 64 |
| #3 | Private | +1.58 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | Tazmo | +1.57 | 79 | 72 |
| #5 | Levi | +1.27 | 76 | 68 |





