








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
780 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 570 | 24% |
| Smokes | 543 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 436 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,461 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DonDave | 44% | 9 |
| #2 | Sqerl | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Private | 39% | 44 |
| #4 | SPINCH | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Rayne | 32% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sqerl | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Private | 39% | 44 |
| #4 | SPINCH | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Rayne | 32% | 37 |
| #6 | e30.jp | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Private | 14 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Rayne | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | DonDave | 2 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | SPINCH | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | Sqerl | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 100 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Private | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Sqerl | 31 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | DonDave | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | e30.jp | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sqerl | +2.25 | 80 | 74 |
| #2 | Private | +2.00 | 55 | 65 |
| #3 | e30.jp | -0.00 | 95 | 67 |
| #4 | DonDave | -0.10 | 57 | 57 |
| #5 | Salty Dinner | -1.21 | 46 | 52 |





