








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 350 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1078 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1200 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1704 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1153 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,563 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1015 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Levi | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Element | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | e30.jp | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | DonDave | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Rayne | 45% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Tazmo | 40% | 40 |
| #8 | Salty Dinner | 39% | 44 |
| #9 | ZigZee | 33% | 9 |
| #10 | Sqerl | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | SPINCH | 21% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 30 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | DonDave | 12 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | SPINCH | 7 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Tazmo | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Salty Dinner | 5 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rayne | 425 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Tazmo | 336 | 0.40 | 10 min |
| #3 | Salty Dinner | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sqerl | 87 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | Levi | 79 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazmo | +1.61 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Private | +1.39 | 57 | 64 |
| #3 | Levi | +0.96 | 83 | 68 |
| #4 | Sqerl | +0.78 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | ZigZee | +0.43 | 76 | 64 |





