








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2058 | 30% |
| Smokes | 326 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 2763 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $360,876 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wittle baby | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | rodney | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | PizzaDog | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | lobs | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Jonathan Thurston | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rodney | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | PizzaDog | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | lobs | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Jonathan Thurston | 45% | 56 |
| #6 | Corndog | 43% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rodney | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | lobs | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Corndog | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | PizzaDog | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corndog | 400 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | rodney | 175 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jonathan Thurston | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | wittle baby | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | lobs | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wittle baby | +6.41 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | lobs | +2.37 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | rodney | +1.42 | 68 | 57 |
| #4 | Jonathan Thurston | +0.95 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | Smelvin | -0.50 | 67 | 63 |





