








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2793 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3828 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 6158 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5998 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,779,287 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wittle baby | 58% | 141 |
| #2 | Corndog | 57% | 247 |
| #3 | lobs | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | rodney | 53% | 330 |
| #5 | PizzaDog | 52% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Corndog | 57% | 247 |
| #3 | lobs | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | rodney | 53% | 330 |
| #5 | PizzaDog | 52% | 107 |
| #6 | Smelvin | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rodney | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | wittle baby | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | PizzaDog | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Smelvin | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Corndog | 4 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corndog | 961 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | rodney | 942 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | wittle baby | 461 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #4 | lobs | 138 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | PizzaDog | 125 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wittle baby | +4.12 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | lobs | +1.75 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | rodney | +1.38 | 76 | 49 |
| #4 | Jonathan Thurston | +1.04 | 67 | 50 |
| #5 | Corndog | -0.67 | 61 | 67 |





