










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
871 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 482 | 44% |
| Smokes | 234 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 91 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,102 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corndog | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Jonathan Thurston | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | Smelvin | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | rodney | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | chill baby | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jonathan Thurston | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | Smelvin | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | rodney | 41% | 34 |
| #5 | chill baby | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | lobs | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smelvin | 4 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Jonathan Thurston | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Corndog | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | chill baby | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Corndog | 165 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jonathan Thurston | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | rodney | 59 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Smelvin | 43 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | lobs | 32 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonathan Thurston | +2.76 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | rodney | +1.26 | 84 | 49 |
| #3 | Corndog | +0.50 | 57 | 64 |
| #4 | lobs | +0.42 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Smelvin | +0.02 | 69 | 60 |





