








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2863 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3627 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3475 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3410 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $931,893 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gamma | 57% | 89 |
| #2 | Ghost | 55% | 110 |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 54% | 163 |
| #4 | Nope The Lemon | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Excel | 51% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BelligerentDan | 50% | 145 |
| #8 | Dysfunksionl | 50% | 111 |
| #9 | zyRo | 49% | 70 |
| #10 | boppy | 48% | 31 |
| #11 | scoopster | 45% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Sproket_ | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | BelligerentDan | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Ghost | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | 6 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | 1274 | 0.27 | 36 min |
| #2 | BelligerentDan | 788 | 0.27 | 24 min |
| #3 | Sproket_ | 584 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | zyRo | 350 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | Dysfunksionl | 320 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Excel | +2.70 | 69 | 77 |
| #2 | Honest | +0.87 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Ghost | +0.85 | 73 | 41 |
| #4 | BelligerentDan | +0.71 | 77 | 77 |
| #5 | Nope The Lemon | -0.18 | 59 | 49 |





