








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,981 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1527 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3190 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1709 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2555 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,358,638 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Happy伯 | 54% | 224 |
| #7 | みどり | 53% | 268 |
| #8 | Mingahhh | 52% | 146 |
| #9 | 錦鋰大鑊喇! | 50% | 52 |
| #10 | aRmovo | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happy伯 | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | みどり | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | KXNelson | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Mingahhh | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | DONTWORRY | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KXNelson | 950 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | みどり | 497 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Happy伯 | 471 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Mingahhh | 324 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | DONTWORRY | 221 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KXNelson | +5.18 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Happy伯 | +4.81 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | みどり | +2.97 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | shingjai | +2.09 | 80 | 66 |
| #5 | DONTWORRY | +1.72 | 78 | 72 |





