










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3989 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5073 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4627 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4579 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,223 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shingjai | 78% | 82 |
| #2 | 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐋 | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | KXNelson | 64% | 383 |
| #4 | DONTWORRY | 63% | 76 |
| #5 | m0nasi | 61% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KXNelson | 15 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | みどり | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Neroりゅうい | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Mingahhh | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | DONTWORRY | 6 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KXNelson | 1605 | 0.22 | 34 min |
| #2 | みどり | 657 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #3 | Mingahhh | 331 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | DONTWORRY | 304 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Neroりゅうい | 243 | 0.06 | 4 min |





