








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,023 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 328 | 16% |
| Smokes | 269 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 525 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,347 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Johannes9222 | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | hydE | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Spude | 71% | 7 |
| #5 | MrSuperrs | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0tka | 7 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | kazub | 4 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | fella | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 1totemic | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Dr. Edger | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Edger | 210 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | 1totemic | 168 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | fella | 114 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | k0tka | 114 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | kazub | 106 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alxcb0b | +8.90 | 98 | 71 |
| #2 | Johannes9222 | +5.71 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | hydE | +2.99 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | MrSuperrs | +2.41 | 81 | 72 |
| #5 | kazub | +2.37 | 77 | 75 |





