








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 884 | 28% |
| Smokes | 786 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 596 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 889 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,486 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aqrcN | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | kizu | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Ullut | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | oskoskosk | 59% | 41 |
| #5 | ikwashier | 58% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kizu | 5 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | aqrcN | 4 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | Ullut | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | DJ Trexx | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | ikwashier | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | 216 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | ikwashier | 156 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ullut | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Trabje | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | aqrcN | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ullut | +3.58 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | oskoskosk | +2.42 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | kizu | +2.34 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | | +2.19 | 42 | 54 |
| #5 | ikwashier | +1.06 | 82 | 59 |





