








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2069 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 335 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7865 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,603 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 13018 | 38% |
| Smokes | 8120 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5223 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 8242 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,214,359 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xe | 72% | 43 |
| #2 | Turtle | 65% | 40 |
| #3 | Pudsy | 64% | 137 |
| #4 | aqrcN | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Ullut | 62% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | DIRTIERNASTIER$UICIDE | 48% | 83 |
| #17 | Fizzyturtle | 44% | 202 |
| #18 | Drattus | 44% | 116 |
| #19 | dustysbro | 44% | 149 |
| #20 | brunch bar | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fizzyturtle | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Drattus | 10 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | brunch bar | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | mind = controlled | 9 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | fraNz フランツ | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fraNz フランツ | 670 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #2 | Fizzyturtle | 591 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | ikwashier | 577 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #4 | Kat | 539 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | dustysbro | 518 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | +3.22 | 70 | 69 |
| #2 | fraNz フランツ | +2.55 | 75 | 65 |
| #3 | aqrcN | +1.73 | 71 | 66 |
| #4 | kizu | +1.52 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Ullut | +1.48 | 73 | 66 |





