








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 526 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1159 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,300 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trabje | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | | 66% | 41 |
| #3 | Ullut | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | mind = controlled | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | ikwashier | 62% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | aqrcN | 50% | 8 |
| #10 | Kat | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Melly-チャン | 29% | 7 |
| #12 | DJ Trexx | 27% | 15 |
| #13 | p1ksel | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind = controlled | 4 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | Ullut | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ikwashier | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | oskoskosk | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ikwashier | 223 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | oskoskosk | 209 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Trabje | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ullut | 61 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p1ksel | +2.36 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | Ullut | +2.03 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | kizu | +1.93 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | oskoskosk | +1.43 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | ikwashier | +1.05 | 72 | 66 |





