








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2866 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3331 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2543 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2285 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,740 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aqrcN | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | Trabje | 70% | 30 |
| #3 | | 69% | 51 |
| #4 | kizu | 64% | 45 |
| #5 | oskoskosk | 62% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oskoskosk | 62% | 84 |
| #6 | ikwashier | 62% | 84 |
| #7 | mind = controlled | 61% | 31 |
| #8 | DJ Trexx | 60% | 35 |
| #9 | Kat | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mind = controlled | 10 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | aqrcN | 6 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | DJ Trexx | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | ikwashier | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | kizu | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | 470 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #2 | ikwashier | 261 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | kizu | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | DJ Trexx | 82 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Trabje | 77 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oskoskosk | +2.20 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | Ullut | +1.65 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | kizu | +1.35 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | aqrcN | +0.93 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | DJ Trexx | +0.39 | 70 | 65 |





