








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2728 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4459 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3599 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3426 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,047 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Goomba | 57% | 194 |
| #12 | TheMeatBitch | 54% | 28 |
| #13 | Wavier | 52% | 102 |
| #14 | Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. | 44% | 36 |
| #15 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | 44% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goomba | 34 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | first3numbers | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | 17 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Jerry | 16 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Killer Fish | 11 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Killer Fish | 487 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | TrennanL | 178 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Goomba | 173 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jerry | 170 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wavier | 113 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japanese Fingerman | +5.67 | 77 | 61 |
| #2 | J Peppa 💯🔥 | +1.74 | 74 | 38 |
| #3 | cringle dangle | +1.47 | 73 | 30 |
| #4 | the hell? | +1.35 | 67 | 48 |
| #5 | lemon | +1.19 | 78 | 51 |





