








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 211 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 945 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1446 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1579 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1221 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,493,504 of utility $269 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 394 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrokén | 58% | 55 |
| #2 | radiobernd | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | TTTobi | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Schlag den Raab | 50% | 66 |
| #5 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 49% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 49% | 122 |
| #6 | JeromeJenkins | 49% | 78 |
| #7 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 46% | 37 |
| #8 | Stulle | 44% | 78 |
| #9 | Shocky* | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulle | 13 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | radiobernd | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | JeromeJenkins | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Schlag den Raab | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrokén | 290 | 0.25 | 9 min |
| #2 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 249 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | TTTobi | 187 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stulle | 186 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Schlag den Raab | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrokén | +5.99 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Schlag den Raab | +1.77 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | Stulle | +0.59 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | JeromeJenkins | +0.49 | 61 | 64 |
| #5 | SiLLE | +0.35 | 78 | 51 |





