








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 279 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3992 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3429 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2796 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3237 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,426,825 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulle | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | radiobernd | 68% | 28 |
| #3 | SiLLE | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | Schlag den Raab | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Schlag den Raab | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 53% | 19 |
| #6 | Nimble | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 51% | 158 |
| #8 | Shocky* | 49% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stulle | 11 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 10 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Shocky* | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | ♕☠ Ruffy ☠♕ | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | radiobernd | 3 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MisterGroßbuchstaben | 485 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Shocky* | 461 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Schlag den Raab | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stulle | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | SiLLE | 76 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToBrokén | +4.65 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Schlag den Raab | +1.43 | 74 | 64 |
| #3 | radiobernd | +0.81 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | Stulle | -0.57 | 62 | 72 |
| #5 | SiLLE | -1.09 | 73 | 49 |





