








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2796 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2587 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2517 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1876 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,188,972 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Materino™ | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | Darki ツ | 68% | 95 |
| #3 | Alex) | 68% | 111 |
| #4 | imtrxzey | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Materino™ | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | Darki ツ | 68% | 95 |
| #3 | Alex) | 68% | 111 |
| #4 | imtrxzey | 60% | 40 |
| #5 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 58% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darki ツ | 16 | 0.0087 |
| #2 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 9 | 0.0140 |
| #3 | Alex) | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | imtrxzey | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Materino™ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex) | 239 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Darki ツ | 160 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Materino™ | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | imtrxzey | 25 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | LuckyMONKEY08 | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex) | +5.64 | 93 | 60 |
| #2 | Darki ツ | +4.19 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Materino™ | +1.04 | 50 | 68 |
| #4 | Hatanache | -0.25 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | imtrxzey | -1.09 | 58 | 34 |





