








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1947 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2384 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1131 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 583 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,083 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zood | 50% | 144 |
| #2 | Textingrightnow | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Preacher06 | 48% | 23 |
| #4 | 1zood | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Rigatoni | 42% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | I'm Truck | 42% | 168 |
| #8 | x-acto | 40% | 141 |
| #9 | I'm Car | 36% | 78 |
| #10 | tiller | 23% | 48 |
| #11 | Rev Up Those Fryers! | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Car | 30 | 0.0206 |
| #2 | zood | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | I'm Truck | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | x-acto | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Rigatoni | 7 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Truck | 210 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rigatoni | 198 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | zood | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | I'm Car | 177 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | x-acto | 149 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preacher06 | +3.78 | 36 | 38 |
| #2 | zood | +2.44 | 58 | 48 |
| #3 | 1zood | +1.17 | 41 | 59 |
| #4 | I'm Truck | +0.55 | 62 | 43 |
| #5 | x-acto | -0.50 | 21 | 50 |





