








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1134 | 26% |
| Smokes | 957 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1247 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 963 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,211 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skrrt | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | 1zood | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Rigatoni | 48% | 140 |
| #4 | zood | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Textingrightnow | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | I'm Car | 41% | 80 |
| #8 | x-acto | 36% | 81 |
| #9 | I'm Van | 35% | 23 |
| #10 | Teerent :) | 30% | 37 |
| #11 | tiller | 19% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Car | 26 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | zood | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Rigatoni | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | I'm Van | 6 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | 1zood | 5 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rigatoni | 296 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | zood | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Linguine | 209 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | I'm Car | 174 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | x-acto | 81 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zood | +2.46 | 58 | 50 |
| #2 | 1zood | +0.76 | 41 | 52 |
| #3 | Skrrt | +0.63 | 47 | 48 |
| #4 | I'm Truck | +0.41 | 62 | 42 |
| #5 | I'm Car | -0.63 | 25 | 37 |





