








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,551 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 827 | 32% |
| Smokes | 488 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 838 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $255,974 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1zood | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Textingrightnow | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | zood | 44% | 88 |
| #4 | Rigatoni | 44% | 70 |
| #5 | Skrrt | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Truck | 13 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | zood | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Rigatoni | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Teerent :) | 7 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | 1zood | 6 | 0.0161 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rigatoni | 152 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | zood | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | x-acto | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | I'm Truck | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Linguine | 109 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zood | +2.75 | 60 | 50 |
| #2 | 1zood | +1.26 | 44 | 53 |
| #3 | I'm Truck | +0.28 | 52 | 40 |
| #4 | Rigatoni | -0.43 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | x-acto | -0.73 | 19 | 48 |





