








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 765 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4827 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6066 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3585 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4470 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,222,558 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmb0 | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | deckle- | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | JachPot | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Chef | 45% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | JachPot | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Chef | 45% | 103 |
| #6 | Piece of Garbage | 36% | 33 |
| #7 | ButthurtAF | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | ButthurtAF | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Jmb0 | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Chef | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef | 355 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | JachPot | 170 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | deckle- | 163 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 127 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Piece of Garbage | 84 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmb0 | +1.93 | 84 | 47 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +1.53 | 71 | 60 |
| #3 | deckle- | +0.69 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Piece of Garbage | +0.11 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | -0.65 | 72 | 65 |





