








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1095 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1054 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 761 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 996 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $324,707 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCBERD | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Simpleboo.com | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | Chef | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCBERD | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Simpleboo.com | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 36% | 33 |
| #4 | Chef | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Simpleboo.com | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef | 183 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Simpleboo.com | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | MCBERD | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Piece of Garbage | +1.71 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +0.21 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | Simpleboo.com | -0.44 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Chef | -1.98 | 41 | 77 |
| #5 | MCBERD | -2.61 | 47 | 32 |





