








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 275 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4420 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3716 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2422 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3742 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,695 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 129 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Nafey | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | [CSC]Herbaceous M8 | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | UKCats | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | deckle- | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Girth | 361 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | 232 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Piece of Garbage | 112 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | [CSC]Herbaceous M8 | 97 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Flying Dutchman | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +2.23 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +1.51 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | R1si0n | +1.21 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | Girth | +1.17 | 77 | 65 |
| #5 | Piece of Garbage | +0.72 | 78 | 63 |





