








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1261 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4521 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3420 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3785 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2164 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3767 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,527,235 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpropertyladder | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | fishchair | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | 11* iViiV1D | 50% | 36 |
| #4 | danstyan | 50% | 264 |
| #5 | Komplo | 49% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | danstyan | 50% | 264 |
| #5 | Komplo | 49% | 230 |
| #6 | Aggro | 48% | 126 |
| #7 | Virtual | 46% | 118 |
| #8 | Alper | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komplo | 34 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Aggro | 26 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | danstyan | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | fishchair | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Virtual | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Komplo | 1100 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | fishchair | 296 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Aggro | 261 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | danstyan | 169 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Virtual | 106 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayven | +2.86 | 79 | 53 |
| #2 | 11* iViiV1D | +2.43 | 80 | 52 |
| #3 | Alper | +2.25 | 78 | 46 |
| #4 | jpropertyladder | +2.20 | 73 | 53 |
| #5 | fishchair | +0.40 | 69 | 64 |





