








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




79 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3895 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3261 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2371 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2186 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,798 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bu11si | 58% | 99 |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Tywah | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | Torch | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | Kelly | 46% | 355 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 5H0T5 | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | Tywah | 49% | 99 |
| #4 | Torch | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | Kelly | 46% | 355 |
| #6 | L1LM0NEY | 36% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tywah | 25 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | Kelly | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | L1LM0NEY | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | 5H0T5 | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Torch | 4 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tywah | 311 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bu11si | 168 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | L1LM0NEY | 110 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Torch | 107 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | 5H0T5 | 87 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tywah | +5.65 | 79 | 54 |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | +3.91 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Torch | +3.39 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | Kelly | +1.17 | 79 | 21 |
| #5 | Bu11si | +0.79 | 49 | 59 |





