








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1524 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4687 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4870 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4784 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,339,084 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I'm Flashinq ✞ | 51% | 39 |
| #2 | L'Washa | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | J' | 49% | 35 |
| #4 | EndorsedFour | 48% | 58 |
| #5 | Kelly | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kelly | 41% | 70 |
| #6 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 41% | 59 |
| #7 | Hinoth | 35% | 34 |
| #8 | Genghis Khan IS ME | 34% | 35 |
| #9 | L1LM0NEY | 32% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L'Washa | 14 | 0.0174 |
| #2 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | EndorsedFour | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | J' | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Hinoth | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grimace TheBabyMuncher | 225 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | EndorsedFour | 177 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | J' | 123 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | L'Washa | 99 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | L1LM0NEY | 73 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J' | +1.70 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | +1.37 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | I'm Flashinq ✞ | -0.00 | 70 | 47 |
| #4 | Kelly | -0.08 | 65 | 23 |
| #5 | Genghis Khan IS ME | -0.93 | 58 | 52 |





