








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4455 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3272 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1486 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2234 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2180 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,053,950 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chris | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | ConTex | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | Bu11si | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Torch | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | Ryder | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kelly | 51% | 130 |
| #7 | L'Washa | 49% | 99 |
| #8 | 5H0T5 | 48% | 27 |
| #9 | L1LM0NEY | 43% | 35 |
| #10 | Hinoth | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L'Washa | 28 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | ConTex | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Torch | 6 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | 5H0T5 | 6 | 0.0106 |
| #5 | L1LM0NEY | 5 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConTex | 369 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | L'Washa | 244 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hinoth | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Torch | 99 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ryder | 71 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tywah | +2.85 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | 5H0T5 | +2.68 | 80 | 67 |
| #3 | Ryder | +0.88 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | ConTex | +0.26 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | chris | -0.01 | 86 | 52 |





