








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 687 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1031 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1479 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1398 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $695,025 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ★LePapa | 48% | 50 |
| #12 | SWiCK | 48% | 69 |
| #13 | Mercy | 45% | 11 |
| #14 | MaTriX E▲SY Bot | 43% | 21 |
| #15 | Viron kenraali | 37% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | vaCCa_ee | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | ★LePapa | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Viron kenraali | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | lõuna-rannik crack for fun | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWiCK | 263 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | ★Noileuz♡ | 242 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | ★LePapa | 101 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | sordimaffia | 95 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | vaCCa_ee | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |





