








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 194 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Renown | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3047 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3853 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5046 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4123 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,532 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ida-rannik cheesy | 59% | 86 |
| #2 | lääne-rannik huang he | 56% | 59 |
| #3 | John Wick | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | MaTriX E▲SY Bot | 52% | 125 |
| #5 | LOL | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | SWiCK | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ★hRv- | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Viron kenraali | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Ida-rannik cheesy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SWiCK | 1068 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | ★Noileuz♡ | 746 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #3 | Ida-rannik cheesy | 142 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | ★hRv- | 119 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Viron kenraali | 117 | 0.06 | 3 min |





