








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Renown | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2639 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1415 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4461 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 2207 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,101,431 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | SWiCK | 45% | 113 |
| #12 | ★Noileuz♡ | 45% | 159 |
| #13 | BombCarrier | 37% | 30 |
| #14 | stylebender | 35% | 31 |
| #15 | lääne-rannik huang he | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | SWiCK | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ★LePapa | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | sordimaffia | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | John Wick | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 474 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | SWiCK | 347 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | sordimaffia | 226 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | ★LePapa | 162 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | vaCCa_ee | 120 | 0.05 | 2 min |





