








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Renown | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4158 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5020 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4700 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4789 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,495,503 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ida-rannik cheesy | 64% | 72 |
| #2 | LOL | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | lääne-rannik huang he | 56% | 62 |
| #4 | PotatoMees | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | John Wick | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Viron kenraali | 45% | 113 |
| #13 | vaCCa_ee | 44% | 120 |
| #14 | sordimaffia | 44% | 64 |
| #15 | stylebender | 42% | 31 |
| #16 | lõuna-rannik crack for fun | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Viron kenraali | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ★LePapa | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | BombCarrier | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | John Wick | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 834 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #2 | ★LePapa | 547 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | Viron kenraali | 172 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | sordimaffia | 127 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ida-rannik cheesy | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lääne-rannik huang he | +3.72 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Ida-rannik cheesy | +3.57 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | lõuna-rannik crack for fun | +2.72 | 77 | 37 |
| #4 | PotatoMees | +2.31 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | LOL | +1.74 | 72 | 60 |





