








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 716 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 154 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,907 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4810 | 15% |
| Smokes | 7057 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 11088 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 8952 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,827,610 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rass | 49% | 51 |
| #9 | ★Noileuz♡ | 49% | 306 |
| #10 | SWiCK | 44% | 120 |
| #11 | ★LePapa | 44% | 55 |
| #12 | NinjaTurtleDonatello. | 41% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★Noileuz♡ | 956 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | sordimaffia | 791 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | NinjaTurtleDonatello. | 293 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | SWiCK | 263 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Viron kenraali | 204 | 0.09 | 4 min |





