








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1232 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1116 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 546 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1010 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $239,643 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willt | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | sefsef | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | AN1MO | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | dickle | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | napzter | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | sefsef | 71% | 17 |
| #3 | AN1MO | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | dickle | 44% | 32 |
| #5 | napzter | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Sgt | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dickle | 5 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | AN1MO | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1MO | 181 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | dickle | 73 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Willt | 44 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | sefsef | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Sgt | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willt | +4.92 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | dickle | +2.23 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | AN1MO | -0.50 | 74 | 68 |
| #4 | nvh | -0.73 | 32 | 68 |
| #5 | sefsef | -0.86 | 79 | 40 |





