








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 483 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,607 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3915 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4393 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2670 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2629 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,303 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilPancake | 52% | 61 |
| #2 | Rizzmeister | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | SouljaBoy | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | Σ_Male | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Ninetales | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Σ_Male | 46% | 48 |
| #5 | Ninetales | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | JoeyAK | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | TheDeagler42 | 36% | 39 |
| #8 | koesh | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizzmeister | 9 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | LilPancake | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | SouljaBoy | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | koesh | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | TheDeagler42 | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LilPancake | 298 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | SouljaBoy | 79 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ninetales | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | TheDeagler42 | 54 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Σ_Male | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Σ_Male | +2.42 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | napzter | +1.11 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | SouljaBoy | +0.32 | 37 | 40 |
| #4 | TheDeagler42 | -1.06 | 41 | 54 |
| #5 | LilPancake | -1.20 | 39 | 44 |





