








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1421 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1322 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1411 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $334,206 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GGcupid | 2udo | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Willt | 64% | 75 |
| #3 | AN1MO | 57% | 103 |
| #4 | sefsef | 57% | 83 |
| #5 | Sgt | 56% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | dyslexior | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | Prince of Sodom | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | nvh | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | Ericdier Smith | 36% | 14 |
| #10 | SpannerS | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willt | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | dyslexior | 2 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | AN1MO | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | sefsef | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Sgt | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1MO | 625 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sgt | 301 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Willt | 253 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | nvh | 145 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | sefsef | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willt | +3.36 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | dickle | +1.50 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | GGcupid | 2udo | +0.79 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Ericdier Smith | +0.14 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | Sgt | -0.08 | 64 | 64 |





