








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 185 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2546 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1946 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2471 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,458 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1MO | 64% | 81 |
| #2 | dickle | 64% | 75 |
| #3 | sefsef | 61% | 67 |
| #4 | Sgt | 60% | 55 |
| #5 | Catboyophonyx | 58% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jake | 54% | 52 |
| #7 | >:{ | 51% | 41 |
| #8 | smz | 48% | 44 |
| #9 | Fl0wZ | 48% | 61 |
| #10 | Pellow | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl0wZ | 37 | 0.0293 |
| #2 | jake | 22 | 0.0195 |
| #3 | smz | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | >:{ | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | dickle | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1MO | 521 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | smz | 276 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fl0wZ | 260 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sgt | 237 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | jake | 221 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jake | +2.83 | 77 | 58 |
| #2 | smz | +2.16 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Willt | +2.03 | 89 | 57 |
| #4 | dickle | +1.50 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | Pellow | +0.98 | 85 | 53 |





