








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1081 | 34% |
| Smokes | 745 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 790 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,195 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GGcupid | 2udo | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Willt | 60% | 55 |
| #3 | dickle | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | AN1MO | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | sefsef | 55% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dickle | 56% | 75 |
| #4 | AN1MO | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | sefsef | 55% | 60 |
| #6 | Ericdier Smith | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | nvh | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dickle | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | AN1MO | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | sefsef | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Willt | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | GGcupid | 2udo | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AN1MO | 486 | 0.30 | 13 min |
| #2 | Willt | 193 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | dickle | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | sefsef | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | nvh | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Willt | +3.11 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | Ericdier Smith | +1.14 | 84 | 60 |
| #3 | dickle | +1.07 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | GGcupid | 2udo | +0.91 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | Sgt | -0.08 | 64 | 64 |





