








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 213 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2429 | 44% |
| Smokes | 1544 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 317 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1246 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,944 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GGcupid | 2udo | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | Willt | 64% | 81 |
| #3 | nvh | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | dickle | 57% | 103 |
| #5 | Sgt | 56% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | dickle | 57% | 103 |
| #5 | Sgt | 56% | 75 |
| #6 | sefsef | 56% | 118 |
| #7 | Fl0wZ | 47% | 15 |
| #8 | Ericdier Smith | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dickle | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Fl0wZ | 6 | 0.0196 |
| #3 | sefsef | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Willt | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sgt | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sgt | 301 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | Willt | 285 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | dickle | 241 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | sefsef | 196 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | nvh | 134 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fl0wZ | +4.07 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | Willt | +3.25 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | dickle | +1.38 | 76 | 72 |
| #4 | GGcupid | 2udo | +0.79 | 68 | 72 |
| #5 | Ericdier Smith | +0.14 | 82 | 54 |





