








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
938 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 387 | 19% |
| Smokes | 361 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 685 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 578 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $457,463 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Q7P | 45% | 29 |
| #13 | malluG | 38% | 13 |
| #14 | Maek | 36% | 22 |
| #15 | Kääbik | 31% | 26 |
| #16 | Lazzelele | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risu | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Väisänen | 6 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Iiro | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Jopsa | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Kääbik | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | risu | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kääbik | 93 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Maek | 83 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | mAKKO | 81 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Iiro | 69 | 0.14 | 1 min |





