








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Esplay | 13 matches | 2,145 | |
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,388 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1247 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1379 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1007 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 755 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,319 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | Ruby Rose | 86% | 21 |
| #3 | Lokelars | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | LennYy | 59% | 76 |
| #5 | Kjendiss! | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kjendiss! | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | stianhay9 | 55% | 144 |
| #7 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | hellz0r- | 52% | 93 |
| #9 | Joniz | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stianhay9 | 13 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | hellz0r- | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Joniz | 6 | 0.0370 |
| #4 | LennYy | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 3 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hellz0r- | 642 | 0.33 | 15 min |
| #2 | stianhay9 | 366 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | LennYy | 360 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | Ruby Rose | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kjendiss! | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gud dug | +2.77 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Mantipanti | +2.01 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | hellz0r- | +0.45 | 69 | 68 |
| #4 | Ruby Rose | -0.36 | 45 | 66 |
| #5 | Kjendiss! | -0.66 | 78 | 63 |





