








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Esplay | 37 matches | 2,055 | |
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4445 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1960 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2277 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,838 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mantipanti | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Ruby Rose | 60% | 30 |
| #3 | brew | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | LennYy | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | gud dug | 52% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gud dug | 52% | 93 |
| #6 | stianhay9 | 51% | 133 |
| #7 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 49% | 43 |
| #8 | Lokelars | 31% | 16 |
| #9 | J-Mark | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gud dug | 28 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | stianhay9 | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | LennYy | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Lokelars | 3 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LennYy | 353 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | stianhay9 | 341 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | gud dug | 251 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | (ɔıʇsɐqɯoᙠ)ɐɐɐɐɐɹO | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ruby Rose | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gud dug | +2.07 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | hellz0r- | +0.87 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | brew | +0.35 | 59 | 68 |
| #4 | Mantipanti | -0.03 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | stianhay9 | -0.70 | 74 | 59 |





