








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1440 | 24% |
| Smokes | 972 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1885 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1784 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,860 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBanana | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Team Saenk | 18Steven | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | Snibbels™ | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Kenji | 53% | 57 |
| #5 | MaGgiX | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustAPilot | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | NOname | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | MaGgiX | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Kenji | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Smartii | 3 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustAPilot | 320 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | Kenji | 124 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | obeey | 124 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Atominat1on | 77 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | NOname | 76 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBanana | +3.57 | 80 | 52 |
| #2 | Smartii | +2.25 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | Kenji | +1.82 | 86 | 74 |
| #4 | obeey | +1.62 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | sadge | +0.28 | 73 | 55 |





