








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2268 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1032 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1136 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2293 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1914 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,438 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obeey | 65% | 26 |
| #2 | Team Saenk | 18Steven | 63% | 32 |
| #3 | sadge | 55% | 47 |
| #4 | xX_Neck_Xx | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | Homofürst II. | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Atominat1on | 44% | 55 |
| #13 | Tommowish | 43% | 46 |
| #14 | Kaiser | 43% | 37 |
| #15 | MaGgiX | 37% | 79 |
| #16 | Snibbels™ | 35% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaGgiX | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | JustAPilot | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Kaiser | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Homofürst II. | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JustAPilot | 566 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | Darki | 223 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | Atominat1on | 210 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kenji | 200 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Homofürst II. | 163 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheBanana | +3.21 | 70 | 57 |
| #2 | sadge | +2.53 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | obeey | +2.51 | 80 | 64 |
| #4 | Smartii | +1.24 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | Kenji | +1.22 | 82 | 75 |





